Luther's hands are laid flat against his knees, his spine now unnaturally straight, as if he's ready and waiting for inspection. (Luther's posture always gets better the more on edge he is. Standing at attention, waiting to be cut down to size.)
Allison occupies his every single day, the lion's share of his mind and heart, everything circling back to her.
And yet. There's been this eternal disjoint between his mind and his mouth; his family and his friends; Allison and the outside world.
He can't just keep repeating himself and the same excuse — I must've mentioned? — but he's realising, quickly and sharply now like a rolling snowball gaining traction, on the verge of becoming an avalanche collapsing into place, that he really hasn't, has he. He's mentioned Shaun, and the people from Aegis because they're Aegis, and maybe Shepard the once because he was going to be coming by their actual house, but...
In the frantic whirring gears of his mind, Luther's examining this as if it's a new discovery to him, too, which it is. Is it something about Jane in particular? Maybe a little. (In another time and another life, maybe he could've—) But it's the rest, too. Everyone else. Does Allison even know Brandon's name? Ruby's? And any of the others who have vanished on him: Alex, Bodhi, Barbara, Ryder?
"It wasn't intentional," he says quickly. A little desperately. "I just didn't— I don't know. I don't know why. I don't really... talk about my friends with you guys, I guess, or you guys with them. Not in specifics."
Friends, plural. There is a reason for it all and it's lurking just out-of-reach, but he's still reeling, trying to see it.
no subject
Allison occupies his every single day, the lion's share of his mind and heart, everything circling back to her.
And yet. There's been this eternal disjoint between his mind and his mouth; his family and his friends; Allison and the outside world.
He can't just keep repeating himself and the same excuse — I must've mentioned? — but he's realising, quickly and sharply now like a rolling snowball gaining traction, on the verge of becoming an avalanche collapsing into place, that he really hasn't, has he. He's mentioned Shaun, and the people from Aegis because they're Aegis, and maybe Shepard the once because he was going to be coming by their actual house, but...
In the frantic whirring gears of his mind, Luther's examining this as if it's a new discovery to him, too, which it is. Is it something about Jane in particular? Maybe a little. (In another time and another life, maybe he could've—) But it's the rest, too. Everyone else. Does Allison even know Brandon's name? Ruby's? And any of the others who have vanished on him: Alex, Bodhi, Barbara, Ryder?
"It wasn't intentional," he says quickly. A little desperately. "I just didn't— I don't know. I don't know why. I don't really... talk about my friends with you guys, I guess, or you guys with them. Not in specifics."
Friends, plural.
There is a reason for it all and it's lurking just out-of-reach, but he's still reeling, trying to see it.